The 'C' Word

No, not that ‘c’ word, although I have met a lot of them recently, the other one…the one I shy away from and avoid at all costs…commitment. Yes, the Ice Maiden has started to thaw and has *whispers* a boyfriend.

After a few months of following Alice’s advice (see Who the f**k is Alice?! ) and settling some, erm, how do I put this, long term ‘debts’, I did the textbook ‘meeting someone when you least expect it’ thing.

I haven’t told him this yet and at the time of writing, am unsure whether I will let him read my blog (he knows of its existence, which is a start), but it all started for me when we had to share a sheet of music, as there weren’t enough to go round. Yes, that old chestnut, our eyes met over a musical score. We ended up chatting one day during a rehearsal break and then messaging on Facebook.

After a while (and a serious amount of alcohol), he plucked up the courage to ask me out for a drink and I decided to go. I didn’t think anything would come of it, as I thought, ‘he’s cute, but really not my type’. Anyone who knows me will tell you I do go for a certain breed of the male species; funny, dark haired, an accent and confidence bordering on arrogance. I am used to being teased mercilessly and give as good as I get. Mr, oh what shall we call him, Mr Slow Burner (thanks Sue!) certainly has the dark hair and slight accent but is a lot quieter, romantic and less ‘in yo face’ than I am used to…and I like this. I really like this.

Anyway, after meeting up a few times, I realised I liked this guy quite a bit, more than I thought I would or wanted to for that matter, I have become quite the closed book, bar this blog…he was charming me slowly, so I eventually made my move and kissed him. :-o

My type hasn’t worked for me in the past, so I felt ready for a change, to escape the over-inflated egos of the past. Felt ready for a relationship (!) where we are both equal, I am treated with respect, made to feel like the most desired creature in the world and most importantly, am the only woman in his romantical life. No wife, no girlfriend, ninguna otra significativa.

We went away to the seaside recently and had a fabulous time – it felt relaxed, we didn’t stop laughing and when we went our separate ways to work on Monday morning, I missed him. Really missed him. I do not understand what is going on or recognise this happy version of myself!

Yesterday marked a particularly weird point in my life, where my ex, daughter and Mr SB all turned up at my work. Separately, may I add. Hashtag Awkward.

Him meeting O was a little nerve wracking but positive – not how I imagined it to be but they have met now and it felt right this time. I have introduced her to one other boyfriend a long time ago but I knew straight away that it wouldn’t work, I can’t explain it, but am sure other people reading this will identify – you just know.  

And just when I thought I had freaked out enough for the day on a personal level, Mr SB went over and introduced himself to The Eel. Eek! If he didn’t know I was with someone before, he definitely does now.

So there you have it. After being (relatively) single for almost 3 years, I am off the market. It feels weird but good weird, if that makes sense? I am not saying it’s going to be easy – I have a lot of hang-ups to get over and bad habits to curb, but I am willing to try.

I just said that out loud, didn’t I? It’s the hot weather that’s making me melt, honest. *coughs*