Time is a healer?

During my time as part of an online community in the early noughties, I was blessed to meet a wonderful man – N. He started to date a close friend and when we finally met, I knew I had met a friend for life.

Bubbly, raucous, honest and giving, this man knew me inside out. There was never anything sexual between us, just an affection and affinity I had never experienced before and have not since.

He was my trusted advisor on men, pointing out my (many) mistakes, my flaws, the path I should be taking and my partner in crime – together we were the life and soul of every party. Until 8 years ago when he was cruelly taken away from me.

I found out online via a post from his grief stricken partner. I called her and we cried together…I wanted to hold her so tight, but couldn’t. She had come home from work to find him collapsed on the floor at their home – a brain haemorrhage – there was nothing anyone could have done. He was 22.

Even now, 8 years on, I still miss him like crazy. I have thought on so many occasions ‘I wonder what N would have thought of….’ and gone to contact him. He missed my wedding, the birth of my daughter, my marriage breakup and everything since.

His funeral was one of the hardest things I have ever had to sit through. The church was absolutely rammed with people paying their respects and I felt so proud and honoured to have been a part of his life. As I lent on my two best male friends to hold me up, “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)” by Green Day came on and I realised I shouldn’t be sad – he really did have the time of his life and so did everyone who knew him.